Why Do I Default to Stereotyping Things I Do Not Understand?

I was recently offered a leading role in an urban film being shot in Chicago by a bright, young film maker that I had to turn down to a scheduling conflict. The script was well written. The production team was well organized. The casting was carefully selected. The marketing and distribution was well thought out and I'm sure the project is going to be a success. I am honored that they chose me for the role and disappointed that I could not take the part.

The cast and crew was 95% African American. I was to play a single parent father who has inappropriate relations with his daughter. He is a dark, flawed character. I am not defending him or the actions he takes in the film but the few lines I just state are an oversimplification of the character, film and project as a whole. When I was presented with the opportunity to audition for the part my first reaction was "NO WAY!" My personal attraction to trying things "outside the box" and a great conversation with the director led me to audition.

The first audition, on film, was an ad-libed "personality" audition. I stepped in front of the camera and proceeded to act like a stereotypical urban white street thug. I "assumed" that was what a black urban film called for. I got a "call back" with a script and did my next audition which was of me talking to a telemarketer after a long day at work. This time I talked like a blue collar, foul mouthed, white trash idiot. Shame on me on several levels. I was offered the part because of my "acting" in the role and my anger in the scene, not my portrayal of the character. After I had to turn the project down I thought about the whole experience and came away very disappointed in myself.

I am not a racist. White people have screwed me over more than all the other ethnic categories put together. I can say that when I am leaving a Sox game at 35th and the Dan Ryan after a night game and I am at a traffic light where a group of black teens are gathered, I lock my doors. I also do the same thing at night in Plainfield when a group of teenage white kids are by my car at a light. My fear sees no color, only fear. Where I am disappointed in myself is that I made some predetermined assumptions about the urban project that I turned down.

First of all I was only one of about 5 actors who were not black in the production. It made me uncomfortable. Why? The money was just as green no matter what color the hand was that was giving it to me. Second, I used urban slang and gestures in my "personality" audition. Why? That is not my personality! I let the word "urban film" take me to "New Jack City" and "Boyz in the Hood" (both amazing films) to predetermine my approach when the director did not tell me to act that way.

Lastly, when I had my callback and had my scripted conversation with the telemarketer why did I play it like I was a "blue collar worker?" Doctors, teachers, scientists, cops, computer geeks and professionals live in "urban environments!" I defaulted to the steel mill worker or the tire shop guy. Shame on me! I place labels on things I don't fully understand to make them easier to cope with instead of asking questions or researching the other side of the story. I jump to conclusions.

What a horrible habit! I let media, TV, movies, music, magazines and the Internet shape my opinions instead of learning for myself in some cases. This is a very unhealthy way to see the world. It's the easy way out and the fast track to stereotyping. I know better. This doesn't go to just people of a color, it goes to how people live, where they live, what they wear, how they talk, what God they worship, what food they eat, what books they read and so much more. When I look at the outside of anything and predetermine the quality or morality of what's inside prior to investigation, I have failed my morals, my God and myself.