Every generation blames the next as being lazy and having it too easy. I know my grandparents said it to my folks. My folks said it to me. I think my kids, our kids, have it too easy. They have no sense of identity, have too much information to process and I think we are partly to blame.
We all want the best for our kids. We want it to be better for them growing up. I have to admit I have spoiled my kids with material things. Partly to keep up with "The Jones's," partly because we didn't keep up with "The Jones's" when I was a boy, partly because my alcoholism made me emotionally unavailable, so it was convenient to buy my way into their hearts and out of sticky situations.
My intentions were good but I know the road to hell is paved with those according to Saint Bernard of Clairvaux. What I never realized in my "good intentions" were the other forces and influences of society that were working alongside my philosophy. I sit here today genuinely concerned about my children and the youth of our country as a whole. Based on that I have concern for the country as a whole.
When I was a kid we got a whack if we were out of line. We lived! We didn't get pummeled, just a little ear flick for attention. Nowadays I could lose my kids and be labeled a child abuser for just that same ear flick. Was your parent a child abuser? I have not hit my kids. Squeaky and I are new age parents mixing parenting with friendship. 12 years into our relationship I sometimes question that methodology.
My mom had no problem yelling at us in the store if we were out of line. Today, when we see a parent do that, we frown upon them like they are heartless and evil. I sometimes do this too. Sometimes I see the kid is completely out of control and remember the ear flick. In my desire to become my kids' friend I think the line has been blurred between who the parent is and who the child is. I know there is a stage in all teens when the parent is a witless fool by their summation, but I am really worried about them right now.
I caught my son in a lie the other day. It was a serious lie and he ended up confessing the truth. He commented to me that he should have told a different lie, then the first lie wouldn't have gotten him in trouble. I was floored. He also told me that his grades are good and he helps around the house so I should cut him a break. I did cut him the break. However, I did explain to him that a well dressed, pleasantly mannered bank robber makes him no kinder the thief. He also got an additional ration of chores to think about my analogy.
When I was a kid I stayed outside until the street lights came on and then I went running home like a mad man to escape the wrath of my mom for being late. My kids walk in right on the money for curfew. I am grateful they keep it. When they miss it by 15 minutes they say it's no big deal. I say that's why they have that neat little cell phone in their pocket. As for going out, the kids live indoors online or in video game world. I can't say I wouldn't do the same but it freaks me out.
I see more and more anger, violence, anti-social behavior, disassociation, a complete disregard for the feelings and property of strangers and a lack of social skills in the kids of today. That's most of them, mine included. My eldest daughter dove into books, art and culture and I thought we were off to easy street. My other kids only read when required by their class. It's not that I haven't been a good example. I am usually reading 3 at a time. Art is only cool if it's from a skater brand or energy drink. The TV of choice glamorizes sex, freeloading, partying, destruction of self and to others and a why work for it mentality.
If you look at the movies of today they revolve around super heroes. That sounds great and everybody knows I love cartoons. I also loved real movies as a kid; inspiring ones like "Rocky" and "Brian's Song." The whole society seems to be based on fantasy now. As a recovering addict, even I am freaked out by the street and legal drugs out there. You can by bath salts to inhale and energy drinks that are really liquid speed. You can get synthetic Xanax at the cigarette store and all this stuff is legal. They are supplements, not regulated by the FDA. It's Capitalism at its finest. It's death for a dollar.
I know we all go through these seasons from time to time as parents. I pray. OH DO I PRAY! It's hard to know exactly what to pray for. Is it for my kids to have good sense? Is it for them to make the right choices? Is it for the world to change? Is it for me to change? Is it for all of the above? Really, it's for me to trust God and give me the strength to trust him all the time, not just when things are going my way. My relationship with him has to be "ALL IN" or I will drive myself mad and things will work out the way he intended them anyway.
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