I would like to welcome Hungary to the family as well as multiple check-ins from China. I have yet to reach Australia and Antarctica. Sorry about the re-posts lately. My blogge would not link to Facebook. Of course I am always thinking it's Big Brother out to censor. It's more likely the conspiracy theorist that I am. My theories on conspiracies are best left to Jessie Ventura. I wonder what the world would be like if we knew all the facts about the world we live in. I do know anarchy!
The blogs I have pasted have been on the down side lately. It's a part of living with depression and recovery. A lot of it has to do with my daughter, economy, politics, no jobs and all the other things dragging everyone down lately. I am feeling much better now that the sun is out. I know spring brings
movie and TV filming in Chicago. I will be better prepared for next winter. Boredom is excruciating to me. Being a Type A personality, I like things fast and furious. When they are on cruise I just can't sit still.
The theatre gig I landed in "My Two Husbands" as Grant Griswold has been a positive experience. I play a smarmy flim-flam man and the cast doesn't seem to like me. When I asked the director why I was getting a chilly reception he quipped 'that I do play the role rather convincingly.' It is a strange paradox that my roles are all shady, dark or brooding. I got offered the roll of "Dad" in the upcoming film "Sidetracked" but as of now I have to turn it down because I have committed to a film in Indiana during August. "Sidetracked" has a 4 month shoot schedule. I have reached out to the director and producer to see if we can work something out to get my scenes done before August. I would be playing a controlling, abusive dad. For the film being shot in August I play an angry, vengeful, macabre character. In the Firestone commercial I played the "Angry Guy".
Do you see a trend here? In the play I am cast as "The guy you love to hate". It is a comedy and I play the part over the top. It's bizarre to me that I am a comic by trade and am cast as unsavory or unreedeeming characters. Anyone who knows me says I always look 'pissed off.' Maybe that is why. Jay, my director friend, says lots of guys have had a helluva career being a bad guy. I am grateful for any role that helps support my family and further my career.
Being the obsessive over-thinking addict and depression sufferer that I am, I try to analyze it. After a great deal of thinking over several cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee I think I have an answer. Those dark figures are a part of my past. When I was homeless I was living like an animal at night and working 9-5 during the day. My depression allows me to see deeper into the shallowness of the character, (insert laugh here). There are a lot of different method acting devices and character acting tricks that can be employed. I need real life experience and pain or joy to come off as convincing in a part.
I led a dark life ridden with pain, isolation, darkness and selfishness for 20 years. Those characters live in me. I have just arrested them and don't give them access to my outer self unless it's on a stage or set. I am thankful to have the comedy to offset the dark side that keeps finding me in film and commercials. I am realistic that I don't have the looks to play a leading man in a romantic comedy. Maybe in the Phantom of the Opera but I can't sing and can't stand masks! Maybe my ultimate acting role will be as a Disney character at the theme park. On the outside I could be funny, fuzzy and warm and kick the little brats in the shins when they don't listen to their parents!
For those of you who are stereotyped, I feel ya. The important thing is that you don't have to buy into what people think about you. Who you are is between you and God. I hate the stigma that comes with depression and the disdain for the recovering addict. But I don't let those things hold me down. Ignorance is bliss! We all have our issues and people pick on the inhabitants of the "Island of Misfit Toys". It is easier to judge others than to take a hard look at ourselves. I know I did it through addiction. Being human, I still judge others. I try to work on it though. I am not a "drunk"! I AM a recovering alcoholic! I am not a "Dope Fiend"! I AM a recovering addict! I am not "crazy"! I have clinical depression.
Remember "Rudolph"? All the toys from the misfit island find homes. Be yourself. Accept who you are. Change what you can. Know the difference between the two. I am not an angry guy. I am a confident, often cocky, nice guy. I have lots to work on within myself. The work is never done. I can be anyone I want to. You can too! When I used to demand that God should give me what I deserve, I am grateful He didn't take me up on it. I am grateful that I get work as an angry guy and can be fun to work with. All I want at this point in my life is to add something positive to this dark world whenever I have the chance. Sometimes I buy into the chaos. Sometimes I ignore my chance. Sometimes I do just the right thing. I'm okay with being a "Charlie in the box."
Showing posts with label Firestone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Firestone. Show all posts
Friday, March 11, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Ain't That a Kick In the Head!.......DEANO!
A lot has happened in the last few days and with it comes life lessons and how crazy they can be. God really does have a sense of humor. Maybe George Burns' portrayal of him in "Oh, God!" was pretty accurate. I personally lean toward the Morgan Freeman interpretation in "Evan Almighty."
So much has been happening in the last week that I have lost track of what day it was a couple of times. I need to pause and make a statement about one of the most idiotic things that wives say to husbands or visa versa. I have a weird O.C.D. thing about losing my wallet or car keys so I put them in the same spot. Then, when I feel I have lost them, I can glance over and be comforted that they are in their preassigned seating area.
Last night I was doing a comedy show at Walter Payton's America's Roundhouse in Aurora. I was running behind a little and when I was ready to dash out the door, I noticed that my wallet was not in its parking spot. I looked in my other pants, the kitchen, the bedroom, my office and all the other places it could be. I then mentioned to my wife that my wallet was misplaced and I was freaking out. Her response was "Do you remember where you had it last?" This is the insanity of couplehood. If I knew where I "had seen it last," I would have clearly checked that place and the wallet would not be lost. I want to scream out "NOW WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!" This is a hats off to all the husbands and wives who bite their tongue and say nothing in response to our partners obviously ridiculous statement.
On Tuesday I found out that my first well paying commercial with Firestone had hit the Internet and has gone viral. Over its first 3 days of airing there have been over 300,000 views. I was on top of the world. I posted the commercial to my blog and Facebook and was proud that I could officially call myself a professional actor. I'm hoping that the commercial's popularity will encourage Firestone to run the spot on TV. If they do, Papa gets paid again. It's a beautiful thing and I am grateful that the commercial has been so well received.
My middle daughter Sunny has been having a pain in her side for a few months which was diagnosed as a pulled muscle. It didn't heal as the doctors said it would. We took her back to the hospital for an X-ray and a mass was found. I went from being on top of the world to "Why are you doing this to us God?" in a matter of seconds. Just when you think you've got the world by the stones you find yourself standing in a puddle of reality tinkle.
In the last few days she has been poked, prodded, scanned and had enough blood to transfuse a rhino. It may be serious or really serious. There is concern but the worst case scenario isn't the worst case scenario. My fatherly side and extreme thinking took me to tragedy and the end. I have obsessed about her future and the impact it could have on her life. Her mother has been a wreck. My son has been distant and sick. We have all focused in with sniper-like precision on what she has been going through.
One of the things that makes me crazy about our health care system is the various doctors you have to visit that fit neatly into your "provider" list. One doctor's prognosis is something out of "Love Story" and the next says "That's nothing. Take two of these and call me in the morning." That leaves a huge chasm of obsession between "it's showtime" and "it's curtains!" After all of the jockeying it has been narrowed down to 2 things, both of which are manageable and not life threatening.
My gratitude and excitement of my booming career are amazing and I'm thankful for all the opportunities and doors that are opening for me. That being said, that day brought me to the real substance of life's importance: being there for our families. I love my family, friends and co-workers, but I work to live. I don't live to work. Right now the focus is on Sunny and what she needs. There will be lots of gigs down the road, but there is only one Sunny. Have a day!
So much has been happening in the last week that I have lost track of what day it was a couple of times. I need to pause and make a statement about one of the most idiotic things that wives say to husbands or visa versa. I have a weird O.C.D. thing about losing my wallet or car keys so I put them in the same spot. Then, when I feel I have lost them, I can glance over and be comforted that they are in their preassigned seating area.
Last night I was doing a comedy show at Walter Payton's America's Roundhouse in Aurora. I was running behind a little and when I was ready to dash out the door, I noticed that my wallet was not in its parking spot. I looked in my other pants, the kitchen, the bedroom, my office and all the other places it could be. I then mentioned to my wife that my wallet was misplaced and I was freaking out. Her response was "Do you remember where you had it last?" This is the insanity of couplehood. If I knew where I "had seen it last," I would have clearly checked that place and the wallet would not be lost. I want to scream out "NOW WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!" This is a hats off to all the husbands and wives who bite their tongue and say nothing in response to our partners obviously ridiculous statement.
On Tuesday I found out that my first well paying commercial with Firestone had hit the Internet and has gone viral. Over its first 3 days of airing there have been over 300,000 views. I was on top of the world. I posted the commercial to my blog and Facebook and was proud that I could officially call myself a professional actor. I'm hoping that the commercial's popularity will encourage Firestone to run the spot on TV. If they do, Papa gets paid again. It's a beautiful thing and I am grateful that the commercial has been so well received.
My middle daughter Sunny has been having a pain in her side for a few months which was diagnosed as a pulled muscle. It didn't heal as the doctors said it would. We took her back to the hospital for an X-ray and a mass was found. I went from being on top of the world to "Why are you doing this to us God?" in a matter of seconds. Just when you think you've got the world by the stones you find yourself standing in a puddle of reality tinkle.
In the last few days she has been poked, prodded, scanned and had enough blood to transfuse a rhino. It may be serious or really serious. There is concern but the worst case scenario isn't the worst case scenario. My fatherly side and extreme thinking took me to tragedy and the end. I have obsessed about her future and the impact it could have on her life. Her mother has been a wreck. My son has been distant and sick. We have all focused in with sniper-like precision on what she has been going through.
One of the things that makes me crazy about our health care system is the various doctors you have to visit that fit neatly into your "provider" list. One doctor's prognosis is something out of "Love Story" and the next says "That's nothing. Take two of these and call me in the morning." That leaves a huge chasm of obsession between "it's showtime" and "it's curtains!" After all of the jockeying it has been narrowed down to 2 things, both of which are manageable and not life threatening.
My gratitude and excitement of my booming career are amazing and I'm thankful for all the opportunities and doors that are opening for me. That being said, that day brought me to the real substance of life's importance: being there for our families. I love my family, friends and co-workers, but I work to live. I don't live to work. Right now the focus is on Sunny and what she needs. There will be lots of gigs down the road, but there is only one Sunny. Have a day!
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