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Showing posts with label Amazon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazon. Show all posts

Friday, July 20, 2012

Grandma's Fat Black Typewriter

I have loved reading for as long as I can remember. As a kid my favorites were "Where The Wild Things Are," Encyclopedia Brown," and any book about baseball. I imagined I was the kid in the boat heading for Wild Thing island in his tiny sailboat. I helped Encyclopedia Brown solve the latest neighborhood caper. I read to escape the real world and disappeared between the pages. My love for reading has never left me.


I measured each book between my fingers. I slowly removed my hand, then stared at the gap between my pointer finger and thumb to review its thickness.I was fascinated that someone had cobbled all those words together. I felt a sense of achievement as the the space grew between my digits. The bigger the book I consumed, the better I felt. When I zipped through "The Hobbit," it was ecstasy. I never let my buddies know I was a reading fanatic. Back then it meant you were a geek. I was one, but was not ready to lose my place in the cool club.


I decided I was going to become a writer when I grew up. It was going to be a fat book, with lots of words. People would gobble it up. They would measure it's girth with their fingers and be amazed at my work. I set out, at once, to achieve my goal of literary greatness.


My grandparents lived in the city. It was on the South Side of Chicago, on Karlov Avenue, just east of Harlem and Pulaski. I adored the predominantly Irish neighborhood they lived in. As kids we didn't ring the doorbell when we were seeking out a playmate. We stood on the porch and would call out, "Yo, Johnny can you come out and play?" Our singing pleas were repeated endlessly until someone came to the door. If they didn't come, you moved on to another house replaying the same song with a new subject.They didn't do that in Mokena where I lived. I thought it was the coolest. 


In the summer time the ice cream man would cruise the streets in a white painted cube truck that blared out "Pop Goes The Weasel," to announce his presence. I thought that was the coolest too. My heart would race as the sounds of the droning song got closer and closer. Grandma would pull some change from her tiny clasped purse. I would barely have my hand clinched around the coins before I dashed out the door. We would sit on the curb licking away at bomb pops or the latest Good Humor treat.


Grandma had an old Smith-Corona typewriter in the basement. A ribbon was stretched between two spools. The top half was red. The bottom half was black. The red served as highlighting back then. When you got to the end of the spool, you simply rewound it back to the left and continued with the task at hand. I loved plunking away on the fat round keys. When you wanted to capitalize a letter you would hold down the caps key. The heavy rubber roller would rise up from the black machine as the keys hammered at the paper like piano hammers hitting the strings stretched taunt inside.  When you released the key it would fall back into place with a thump. I worked feverishly as the slender arms slapped the ribbon to the page.

My first work was called "The Monkey and the Eagle." My mother still has it. It was a simple paragraph. The plot revolved around a monkey who steals an egg from an eagles' nest, then returns it after he realizes the mother eagle was sad. I went through pages of paper, and rewound the spools a few times, before I got the story just right. Inevitably I would near completion of my masterpiece and hit the wrong key. The spindle whizzed and whined as I ripped the botched up paper from the machine and replaced it with a fresh one.

I presented it to the world with glowing satisfaction. I was an author just like the ones' who pecked out my favorites. I wrote story after story. I was the hero of course. Sometimes I would type out a sad theme. In those works I tried to save a person or animal from doom. My heart fell to pieces when I couldn't. Now I see that people pleasing, and my desire to save the world, crossed into my reality.

I feel blessed and grateful that I reached my goal of becoming a published author. Writing SOUL PAROLE was a cathartic journey. As a kid I thought my works would be about safaris and daring rescues. I never thought I would pen the recounting of years of self destruction. I hope someone finds it as intriguing as Encyclopedia Brown.

When I got the first proof copy I stared at it for a few minutes. I flipped through the pages in disbelief that I had pecked out the words. I measured the book between my fingers. I slowly removed my hand, then stared at the gap between my pointer finger and thumb to review its thickness.I was fascinated that I had cobbled all those words together. I felt a sense of achievement as I carefully removed my fingers to keep my measurements true. I sat in awe, fixated on the space between the two. I was bathed in a sense of accomplishment. I have come a long way from "The Monkey and the Eagle."


SOUL PAROLE: Making Peace with My Mind, GOD and Myself is on sale NOW at Amazon.com and Amazon Europe. Personalized copies can be purchased through PAYPAL at tommyconnolly.com by clicking the link at the top of this page. 


Proceeds benefit Chicago Area addiction, homeless and mental health programs.



Saturday, July 16, 2011

I am Here...

In a few months "Every Day is a Gift" will be published as a book by Amazon. It will be titled "Soul Parole." I had no intention of writing a book about my addictions and depression. I have always wanted to pen a novel. There were many nights when I would sit with drink in hand and fancy myself a future Hemingway writing of safaris and wars abroad. My life has been an adventure. The wars were fought inside my head.

It has been strangely nostalgic reading through the 140 plus chapters I've written and see the changes in me and my thinking. I see progress and setbacks. There's forging ahead and old patterns and behaviors. A few are wrought with depression and "dry drunk" rantings. All of it is real. All of it is me.

I will be donating a portion of the proceeds of my book to the publishers by obligation. I will be gratefully donating a portion of my proceeds to area addiction programs, homeless shelters and a clinic that studies mental disorders. I am not setting out to become an L.A. author. I like where I'm at and I have to share the gifts God has lent me. They are not mine. They are to be used to give thanks for his grace and glory.

I want to say thanks for helping me. I thought my mind dumps were to only help others. I hope they helped you or someone you know. Ultimately we help each other. That's the whole key to finding some semblance of peace on this spinning blue ball we call earth. When I help someone else I get out of me, my anxiety, depression, obsession and selfishness. I do not have to look far and find some one who has it much worse than I do. That puts my cry for me and more in to realignment lickety split.

The 1 year anniversary of my father's death is in a few days. I miss him more, not less, each day. I started the acting thing in October of 2010. In 9 months I have appeared in 5 TV series and 7 films, 3 commercials and an industrial film. I know he would be proud. It all still numbs my mind. Next week I leave for Los Angeles for a week long shoot on a project for the Animal Planet. I carry a memento of Dad on every project I do. He would like that. I have found my calling. I am blessed and have worked tirelessly to get so far so quickly. I know my 28 years of living like a chameleon in addiction has made acting natural for me.

Thank you all for being my friends and my support group. Thanks for letting me bare my soul and share my war stories and small victories. As you can see from recent blogs our family has new battles on the horizon. God will get us through as long as we trust him and don't get in the way. I know the pain. I know the odds. I am prepared for all the possible outcomes.

I will continue to rant. I hope you continue to read. I pray that you see that facing your demons, no matter what they are, is possible and the key to reasonable happiness. I am always going to be a little nutty, a little left of center one day and a little right of it the next. That's just me. I am starting to like me. I am comfortable spending time with me. I no longer feel the need to run away from myself and escape into a bottle, jug, pill, porn shop or addiction of the week club. I take things as they come. I do my best and leave the outcomes to my FATHER. I have choice today. I choose living!