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Thursday, April 12, 2012

GRATITUDE and Passion Is Why I do WHAT I DO?

Over the last two years of writing this blog I have been asked, "Why do you share such dark personal secrets?" They are no doubt referring to the blogs about my addictions, alcoholism and Bi-Polar Disorder. I have bared my soul in talking about being homeless, hopeless, suicidal, insane and an all around jerk. Add to that 3 marriages and the loss of two children and the kettle can quickly turn black.

I can say that it is painful to recount the things I have done that were unfair, or down right ignorant to my family, friends and strangers. Some folks have said that the blog will hurt my career as an actor and comic. To all those offering warning, advice and personal insights thanks, IT'S OKAY! I never imagined that I would share stories of peeing on myself and living in my car, the insanity I lived in for 28 years and my new life in faith and hope.

You see I share my story because we all learn through pain. I do for sure. After a quarter of a decade of slowly trying to kill myself I have found light at the end of the tunnel. Many don't get that chance. More importantly if I can help someone seek treatment and escape the grips of addiction then all that time wasn't wasted in vain. If I kept all the pain inside it would be of no benefit to me or anyone. It would simply be pain.

This week I had a friend over who said he doesn't believe people when they, "If it helps one person, it was all worth it." I can appreciate that. It is an overly romanticized statement. I think we say things like that because it's humbling when you reach a point that you are grateful to be a positive influence even if it's to the few. In reality we hope to inspire many. Many people inspire me. I think that's what it's all about down here on good ole' Terra Firma.

My blog has had 15,000 reads in the 15 months I have been writing it. It has been read in 57 countries. I'll take that! I'm not the Huffington Post or Joyce Meyer, but I can see that I have touched some hearts. That is all I am supposed to do. I think that is what GOD wants from all of us. My happiest, most contented moments are when I step outside of myself and jump into serving or helping a friend in need. My melon and me don't get along very well alone.

It doesn't take a blog or becoming a missionary. We all have gifts that God has given us to share. I am sure you have had days when you were at your wits ends and feeling like doom was about to fall on you like raindrops. Then at the most unexpected moment some stranger says just the right thing to make you feel a little better. THAT is being a messenger! Every act we do outside of self makes the world a little better. It may be only one person. If my writings help ONE person that is being a messenger and fulfilling God's will.

If you aren't a person of faith, it's just a right way for living. Being a decent human being isn't a religious thing. Hold a door. Let someone into traffic. Call an old friend just to say hi. Catch the dream you have always been FEARFUL of going for! Lennon said, "You can dream alone, but it takes others to make them realities." You are unique in this world. SHARE YOUR UNIQUENESS! It's a gift.

I received an email today that someone had read one of my blogs and it had an impact on them. It is posted on the bottom of this blog. If you ask me if I'm happy to touch just one persons life I would answer with an emphatic YES! I see that I am. Trust me when I say the more help you offer to others...the less self-help you'll need to seek. Change someones world for the better today with a smile or simple gesture of kindness. Then try it the next day. You'll end up with many smiling faces and one of them will be yours....

I am truly touched by your article and I thank you for writing it. I am John Roberts' oldest daughter, Bonnie. I am so proud of my dad for fighting the war on heroin. Losing my brother, Billy has forever changed my family's lives. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my little brother. You are right, he wasn't a "junkie" or "low life" -- He was a funny, smart, hard working, loving kid who was taken too soon.
Again, thank you for your kind words and support.

Than you Bonnie...You just touched my heart. Thanks for being a messenger of good news in my life today....God Bless You All! 

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