In recovery WE learn straight away that using was a symptom of our thinking problem. We get ourselves so "overthunkified" that life gets unbearable and we need to escape our minds and discomfort of our own skin. The world and its occupants don't seem to understand us and OUR order of things, so WE go mad trying to change the universe and everyone in it. Strangers are included. People on the TV, or halfway across the planet, catch our attention as equally as the old lady standing next to us at Piggly-Wiggly.
As we work through our baggage and find peace within and outside of ourselves we have flashes of serenity. When I have it, MAN I love it! It's all CONTINGENT upon how well I am keeping in touch with my GOD, my moral compass. When I am good with him everything is alright. Being good with him means PRAYING, asking for guidance and help with my shortcomings as a human.I've got quite a pile. I also have some pretty cool stuff to work with. I have to trust him. He's got the plan. I do the foot work. The small still voice is clearly audible now.
As an addict I need repetition in recovery like I did in active addiction. I used to rationalize my own
self-destruction daily for over twenty eight years. Along the way I obviously developed some unhealthy thinking about the world and myself. Three years clean and I'm just starting to crawl.
In the last few weeks I've been restless, irritable and discontent. I can see it in every corner of my world. My desk is covered with half finished projects and piles of books and CD's. It is an accurate snapshot of the chaos that is building inside me. My comments and jokes to friends are sarcastic. I'm isolating. That is a premeditated recipe for misery at the best and using to death at its' worst.
Recovery is a really simple design for living for people who really love complicating things. I sure do. If you break recovery down to it's simplest elements beyond NOT USING its:
TRUST GOD!
Worry About YOU!
Try to HELP OTHERS!
It is so simple and I can blow em' all before I get out of bed! I am grateful that I don't have the urge to use. I still very clearly have a lifetime of work to do on me and in helping others. I LOVE HELPING OTHERS! I can get so paralyzed by ME that I do nothing. When I get to these points I need to get back to the basics and the 3 SIMPLE rules of living above.
Sometimes doing the right thing for me is just getting out of bed and taking the time to say, "Good Morning God! Thanks for waking me up. You take it from here." Then going to a meeting or work. It gets that simple or that complicated. If I think beyond that I get "overthunkified" and I want to crawl back under the covers and I get nowhere....
As we work through our baggage and find peace within and outside of ourselves we have flashes of serenity. When I have it, MAN I love it! It's all CONTINGENT upon how well I am keeping in touch with my GOD, my moral compass. When I am good with him everything is alright. Being good with him means PRAYING, asking for guidance and help with my shortcomings as a human.I've got quite a pile. I also have some pretty cool stuff to work with. I have to trust him. He's got the plan. I do the foot work. The small still voice is clearly audible now.
As an addict I need repetition in recovery like I did in active addiction. I used to rationalize my own
self-destruction daily for over twenty eight years. Along the way I obviously developed some unhealthy thinking about the world and myself. Three years clean and I'm just starting to crawl.
In the last few weeks I've been restless, irritable and discontent. I can see it in every corner of my world. My desk is covered with half finished projects and piles of books and CD's. It is an accurate snapshot of the chaos that is building inside me. My comments and jokes to friends are sarcastic. I'm isolating. That is a premeditated recipe for misery at the best and using to death at its' worst.
Recovery is a really simple design for living for people who really love complicating things. I sure do. If you break recovery down to it's simplest elements beyond NOT USING its:
TRUST GOD!
Worry About YOU!
Try to HELP OTHERS!
It is so simple and I can blow em' all before I get out of bed! I am grateful that I don't have the urge to use. I still very clearly have a lifetime of work to do on me and in helping others. I LOVE HELPING OTHERS! I can get so paralyzed by ME that I do nothing. When I get to these points I need to get back to the basics and the 3 SIMPLE rules of living above.
Sometimes doing the right thing for me is just getting out of bed and taking the time to say, "Good Morning God! Thanks for waking me up. You take it from here." Then going to a meeting or work. It gets that simple or that complicated. If I think beyond that I get "overthunkified" and I want to crawl back under the covers and I get nowhere....
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