The highly anticipated film CONTAGION hit the big screen this week. I am one of the many extras who had an opportunity to appear in this blockbuster film directed by Steven Soderbergh. As usual Soderbergh brings out the A list with Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Larry Fishburne, Kate Winslet and Bryan Cranston. When Mr. Soderbergh calls you pick up up the phone. His films are always exciting and action packed and most importantly money makers. The Oceans 11 trilogy is an example of his mastery of the camera and ease at bringing the best to the projects he directs. Whatever he creates brings people to the theater. His movies sell period.
Shot around the world Chicago was just a stop on the CONTAGION whirlwind filming tour. I was lucky enough to work on the film for 4 days. I worked one day with Larry Fishburne and "Breaking Bad" Bryan Cranston, 2 days with Kate Winslet and one day as a foreign dignitary. I worked 3 of the 4 days with Steven Soderbergh. As a comic I have to point out that although he plays some intense characters Bryan Cranston could be a comic in a heartbeat. He is a riot! He was slinging one liners like newspapers on the day I shot a large group scene with him and Fishburne. Mr. Fishburne is intense and has a great smile.
As an extra you are generally just background. People don't notice you because they are focused on the stars. Occasionally you are bumped up to what is known as a featured extra. The pay is the same and you have no lines but you are given a role in the film. That is a specific character in a scene. I was lucky enough to be cast as Superintendent of Schools in a small scene that was shot in and in front of the armory here in Chicago with Kate Winslet. It was just Kate, Steven Soderbergh, the crew, a few supporting actors and my Chicago acting friends Steve Price, Ric Rumowski, Scott Bagowicz and 2 other gentleman.
The Armory was massive and I was struck by a few thing working on this particular day. The first was that Steven Soderbergh was on set everyday I had been on the film. He was involved in every scene that I had worked on. He was not the high and mighty Director. He was approachable and very gentle and attentive to all in his world. Extras like me were not treated like second hand citizens, which can be the case sometimes. Mr. Soderbergh was just a regular guy. It was really cool. I hope I don't end up on the editing floor.
Next came Kate. She has a natural beauty and aura that emmanates from her. She is the farthest thing from a diva as you can get. She ate with the crew. She talked with everyone and could hold her own with a room full of sailors when it came to her vocabulary but she also has the grace of a swan. It was awesome being in a scene with just the 9 of us. It was refreshing to see her be just a person. I have heard stories of extras being thrown off of sets for saying hello to an actor. That's right! I also heard a story from a Chicago extra who worked with an A list celebrity from Boston who was told not to even look at him between takes. Come on! Are you kidding me?!
I had the same great experience with Kate Winslet on Contagion as I did when I worked with William H. Macy on season 1 of "Shameless." He came into the extras holding area and asked us about our lives and families. He asked us if we wanted to take pics with him. When I was shooting a scene with him (I'm in the episode where the youngest daughter abducts the baby) he directed me on how to approach him as the director walked away. I was cast as his neighbor. The fame or his job had not gotten to his head and soul. He is still just William Macy.
That is how I hope to be in my career as an actor, comic and author. Steven Soderbergh thanked me when we wrapped the that day of the Contagion shoot. ME an extra. That is right thinking and grateful living. William Macy and Kate Winslet hung out with the crowd and remembered where they started out. That is sharing with your compatriots and realizing your blood is red like mine.
We all are born, live and die. The movies are cool. Comedy is fun. Writing the book has been cathartic and hopefully will touch some hearts. The fact is we are all just flesh bones blood and soul. What you do on the outside may be interesting. It's what you do for each other that is vital. Teachers, Firemen, Cops and Soldiers are Stars in my book. I will make helping others a part of my life for whatever's left of it. If I ever reach a point in my career where I don't eat with the crew, or hang with the extras, or help a friend in need then I will have forgotten that GOD gave me all these wonderful blessings and understand when they all disappear...
Showing posts with label Kate Winslet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kate Winslet. Show all posts
Friday, September 9, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Take Me to the River....Dunk Me in the Water...Talking Heads/AlGreen
In the last nine months of my entire acting career, I have appeared in 5 television series and 7 films. There have been commercials for industry and the web, industrial films, and mostly extras work. I have pushed and clawed my way into a career that takes many actors years to achieve in a fraction of a year. I have been a man bent on making up for all the time I lost at the bottom of a bottle or trapped inside of my depression.
It is surreal looking back at my abbreviated career and the roster of people I have been in scenes with. The list includes: Kate Winslet, William H. Macy, Joan Cusack, Larry Fishburne, Bryan Cranstan, Jennifer Beals, Jason Clarke, Delroy Lindo, Jason Patrick and scores of Chicago's finest actors. From the directors list I have been fortunate to work under Steven Soderbergh, Mario Von Peebles, Charles McDougall and Michael Dinner.
Of the seven films I have done 4 of them were with speaking roles. I have been told "I am a natural." I am flattered by the compliment and grateful to God for giving me a gift that I truly love to use. I attribute my ability to my life on the street. When I was an active alcoholic and addict I had to be the ultimate actor. I was a chameleon switching from role to role as the audiences changed. Addiction is a 24 hour job. I had to hide hangovers, downplay highs that were too intense and manipulate the marks that were in my path to achieve the score. That is what adds to my abilities "in character." Becoming someone else comes quite naturally to me because I was so many different people for nearly twenty eight years. Not having to be me was my intended purpose.
Today I am okay being me. I love acting and no longer seek chemical vacations from myself. Some days are better than others. Being a person with depression issues I have to keep things in perspective and not let emotion get the best or worst of me. Yesterday was a day that I felt down emotionally but was given a grace filled day that put all of my life into perspective.
When Squeaky and I were baptized in August of 2009 I was overwhelmed with the experience. The church asked us to share our testimony on a video to be shared at a later date during services. I spoke of my addictions and Squeaky spoke of the miracles in her life. Parkview Christian Church, our church, has a day set aside yearly for congregational baptism. They also do them weekly or as people request. The day they played our testimony was on the mass baptism day and over 730 people rededicated their lives to Christ. I cried like a baby. I know our video didn't inspire them to take the plunge but we were humbled to be part of such a special day.
Since then we have been part of the baptism team. We help people behind the scenes prepare for their baptisms that occur at the end of worship. We have assisted about 20 people so far. It is our way to give service to the church and thanks to God for giving me and us a second chance. I will always make it a part of my life, no matter what path it takes.
Yesterday we were called to help a family who were getting two members baptized into Christ. One was an 81 year old man, the patriarch of the family who suffered from Parkinson's disease. The other was his granddaughter, a girl of about 18 who has cerebral palsy. We performed our usual tasks, showing them where to change and reviewing how the rites of baptism would be performed. They were excited and tears of joy and hugs flowed freely amongst us all. A frantic member of the family said she had no one to take photos. In a Clark Kent moment I told her not to worry. Grabbing her camera I rushed down the stairs back into the sanctuary and found a friend to capture the special moment forever.
The joyous moment came and grandpa and granddaughter stepped into the warm waters of the swirling baptismal pool. They were followed by their baptizer who was the father of the girl and son of the man. They recited their Confession of Faith. The old man could be heard to say that his feet were tingling. I laughed and then began to weep. It was a moment of crystal clarity. This was the important work in my life. These were the real people whom I served.
The girl giggled and thrashed as she was submerged in the warm waters cleansing herself and beginning life anew. As they came up out of the water and back up the stairs Squeaky and I hugged them. We were part of the family. The first few moments after someone has rededicated their lives to God and Christ are magical. Their eyes sparkle. The anxiety and worries of moments before seem to have been washed away. They are new creatures.
Kate was down to earth. William just a regular guy. Jennifer was gracious. Bryan was a riot. Jason Clarke does a South Side accent better than most Southsiders. Joan was bubbly. All of them wouldn't recognize me if they ran into me today. The grandpa and young lady whom we shared the experience of rebirth with will never forget us. That day is burned into their memories. The movies are fun and I am grateful for the opportunities. The people I serve for the glory of God are the stars that really shine in my heart and the ones that really matter.
It is surreal looking back at my abbreviated career and the roster of people I have been in scenes with. The list includes: Kate Winslet, William H. Macy, Joan Cusack, Larry Fishburne, Bryan Cranstan, Jennifer Beals, Jason Clarke, Delroy Lindo, Jason Patrick and scores of Chicago's finest actors. From the directors list I have been fortunate to work under Steven Soderbergh, Mario Von Peebles, Charles McDougall and Michael Dinner.
Of the seven films I have done 4 of them were with speaking roles. I have been told "I am a natural." I am flattered by the compliment and grateful to God for giving me a gift that I truly love to use. I attribute my ability to my life on the street. When I was an active alcoholic and addict I had to be the ultimate actor. I was a chameleon switching from role to role as the audiences changed. Addiction is a 24 hour job. I had to hide hangovers, downplay highs that were too intense and manipulate the marks that were in my path to achieve the score. That is what adds to my abilities "in character." Becoming someone else comes quite naturally to me because I was so many different people for nearly twenty eight years. Not having to be me was my intended purpose.
Today I am okay being me. I love acting and no longer seek chemical vacations from myself. Some days are better than others. Being a person with depression issues I have to keep things in perspective and not let emotion get the best or worst of me. Yesterday was a day that I felt down emotionally but was given a grace filled day that put all of my life into perspective.
When Squeaky and I were baptized in August of 2009 I was overwhelmed with the experience. The church asked us to share our testimony on a video to be shared at a later date during services. I spoke of my addictions and Squeaky spoke of the miracles in her life. Parkview Christian Church, our church, has a day set aside yearly for congregational baptism. They also do them weekly or as people request. The day they played our testimony was on the mass baptism day and over 730 people rededicated their lives to Christ. I cried like a baby. I know our video didn't inspire them to take the plunge but we were humbled to be part of such a special day.
Since then we have been part of the baptism team. We help people behind the scenes prepare for their baptisms that occur at the end of worship. We have assisted about 20 people so far. It is our way to give service to the church and thanks to God for giving me and us a second chance. I will always make it a part of my life, no matter what path it takes.
Yesterday we were called to help a family who were getting two members baptized into Christ. One was an 81 year old man, the patriarch of the family who suffered from Parkinson's disease. The other was his granddaughter, a girl of about 18 who has cerebral palsy. We performed our usual tasks, showing them where to change and reviewing how the rites of baptism would be performed. They were excited and tears of joy and hugs flowed freely amongst us all. A frantic member of the family said she had no one to take photos. In a Clark Kent moment I told her not to worry. Grabbing her camera I rushed down the stairs back into the sanctuary and found a friend to capture the special moment forever.
The joyous moment came and grandpa and granddaughter stepped into the warm waters of the swirling baptismal pool. They were followed by their baptizer who was the father of the girl and son of the man. They recited their Confession of Faith. The old man could be heard to say that his feet were tingling. I laughed and then began to weep. It was a moment of crystal clarity. This was the important work in my life. These were the real people whom I served.
The girl giggled and thrashed as she was submerged in the warm waters cleansing herself and beginning life anew. As they came up out of the water and back up the stairs Squeaky and I hugged them. We were part of the family. The first few moments after someone has rededicated their lives to God and Christ are magical. Their eyes sparkle. The anxiety and worries of moments before seem to have been washed away. They are new creatures.
Kate was down to earth. William just a regular guy. Jennifer was gracious. Bryan was a riot. Jason Clarke does a South Side accent better than most Southsiders. Joan was bubbly. All of them wouldn't recognize me if they ran into me today. The grandpa and young lady whom we shared the experience of rebirth with will never forget us. That day is burned into their memories. The movies are fun and I am grateful for the opportunities. The people I serve for the glory of God are the stars that really shine in my heart and the ones that really matter.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Sometimes Recovery Really Makes Me Want A Drink!
Based on the small number of reads I've had on my blog reflecting on how hard it is to forgive myself for my past, either it really sucked or it was avoided completely due to the subject matter. If you avoided it because it hit a nerve, I'll make sure I don't write about denial. If you are planning on reading it, and just haven't gotten around to it, a procrastination blog will send head your head spinning - someday.
This is blog 98 since I started it on December 13, 2010. 99 is going to be from my wife's perspective on her experiences living with me and her ex husband who also had drinking issues. Number 100 will be a summary, and then we'll see what happens. God will let me know how to proceed. It fascinates me that out of the 97 blogs I have written, and over 5000 reads in 60 days, that the comments have been about a dozen total. It shows me that people are interested in my experiences but don't want to be the one at the front of the classroom with a question.
If you ever need to reach out and don't want to comment, email me directly at tommyconnolly@att.net . I will do my best to share my experience with you and point you in the right direction to finding support. I will answer all emails to the best of my ability based on MY experiences with addiction and recovery. I am not a doctor. I'm a recovering drunk and addict. Admitting there's a problem is the first step in solving any crisis. The willingness to reach out for help is the wild card. Nobody wants to admit that they are out of control or risk being found out. Believe me, you're out. Addiction and recovery is a team effort, not a solo act.
I have written about being homeless and wanting to take my own life in my beautiful home. I have written about doing scenes with Jennifer Beals, William H. Macy and Kate Winslet. Through most of my addiction, I was just a working stiff. I was a functional alcoholic and addict. In using the word functional I am referring to the fact that I held a job, looked fairly normal, was a part of the family and put on one helluva show. I didn't get wasted until after work and on weekends. If I stood in a line-up of 10 people, and you were asked which one was the fall down drunk, I would probably be your tenth choice.
The first response an addict or alcoholic does when contemplating whether they have a problem is to look for all the differences in the stories they hear. Common thoughts amongst the alcoholic are "I never did that" or "I make a ton of dough and drive a nice car, drunks live in the gutter" or "I never got arrested." Some other "Top 10 drunk denial excuses" include: "I go to work every day", "I never had a DUI", "I can stop whenever I want to, I just don't want to", "If you had my life you would drink too", "I'm different!" Please let me make it clear that addiction doesn't care what you drive, wear, do for a living or if you are sipping the finest scotch or a bottle of Mad Dog.
Let me ask you a simple question. In the middle of the night have you ever considered that you may have a problem with alcohol or drugs or that you really need to cut back? I know you probably quickly dismissed it as being silly, but if the thought came to your mind EVER, that is a huge red flag. I have never sat watching "Ancient Aliens" and wondered if I was E.T.! If you have ever considered the POSSIBILITY of having a problem explore it now. All those things you "haven't done" are known in recovery as "YETS."
Addiction and alcoholism always progress. They never regress. Have you ever found yourself dreading a weekend barbecue at the home of a friend who doesn't serve alcohol? You probably politely declined the invitation or you had a few in you before you got there. That's what I did. Do you find yourself getting a little uncomfortable around someone you know who doesn't drink? I bet you didn't have that same feeling eating a Big Mac next to a chubby guy! These are warning flags.
Have you ever had a few drinks before a party so you could sip only a few once you got there so people didn't notice how much you drank? Have you told your wife the "half story?" This is a term I coined because if my wife came home and smelled beer on me and asked me how many I had I would quickly reply 3 when it was really 6. If I was ripped I would say I didn't eat anything all day and probably should have eaten before I drank. For those of you who drink vodka thinking it is odorless, it is as odorless as skunk roadkill!
Believe me when I tell you that I have lost everything, gained it back and nearly lost it all again due to booze and drugs. It is just a matter of time. Addiction is patient. It will wait for years being happy that you're drunk when it really wants you dead! By the time you get to the bitter end of abuse you will probably wish you were dead. My addiction made me question my sanity, marriage, jobs, opportunities and running away from it all. No matter where I run to, I am there to greet myself and my addiction is adaptable to any climate, occupation, relationship or rationality.
Today my wife smiles at me instead of avoiding me. My kids talk to me about anything without fear of me going off. My employers get my best everyday. Today I can look at that guy in the mirror and be okay with him. I used to hate looking at that empty shell that stared back at me every morning. Today I have friends in recovery I can call when I need help with a problem. The dope man and the liquor man didn't show up at my father's funeral but 23 people in recovery did. All of the things you think you have missed or regret are there waiting for you in sobriety. Why don't you give it a shot, instead of drinking another one?
This is blog 98 since I started it on December 13, 2010. 99 is going to be from my wife's perspective on her experiences living with me and her ex husband who also had drinking issues. Number 100 will be a summary, and then we'll see what happens. God will let me know how to proceed. It fascinates me that out of the 97 blogs I have written, and over 5000 reads in 60 days, that the comments have been about a dozen total. It shows me that people are interested in my experiences but don't want to be the one at the front of the classroom with a question.
If you ever need to reach out and don't want to comment, email me directly at tommyconnolly@att.net . I will do my best to share my experience with you and point you in the right direction to finding support. I will answer all emails to the best of my ability based on MY experiences with addiction and recovery. I am not a doctor. I'm a recovering drunk and addict. Admitting there's a problem is the first step in solving any crisis. The willingness to reach out for help is the wild card. Nobody wants to admit that they are out of control or risk being found out. Believe me, you're out. Addiction and recovery is a team effort, not a solo act.
I have written about being homeless and wanting to take my own life in my beautiful home. I have written about doing scenes with Jennifer Beals, William H. Macy and Kate Winslet. Through most of my addiction, I was just a working stiff. I was a functional alcoholic and addict. In using the word functional I am referring to the fact that I held a job, looked fairly normal, was a part of the family and put on one helluva show. I didn't get wasted until after work and on weekends. If I stood in a line-up of 10 people, and you were asked which one was the fall down drunk, I would probably be your tenth choice.
The first response an addict or alcoholic does when contemplating whether they have a problem is to look for all the differences in the stories they hear. Common thoughts amongst the alcoholic are "I never did that" or "I make a ton of dough and drive a nice car, drunks live in the gutter" or "I never got arrested." Some other "Top 10 drunk denial excuses" include: "I go to work every day", "I never had a DUI", "I can stop whenever I want to, I just don't want to", "If you had my life you would drink too", "I'm different!" Please let me make it clear that addiction doesn't care what you drive, wear, do for a living or if you are sipping the finest scotch or a bottle of Mad Dog.
Let me ask you a simple question. In the middle of the night have you ever considered that you may have a problem with alcohol or drugs or that you really need to cut back? I know you probably quickly dismissed it as being silly, but if the thought came to your mind EVER, that is a huge red flag. I have never sat watching "Ancient Aliens" and wondered if I was E.T.! If you have ever considered the POSSIBILITY of having a problem explore it now. All those things you "haven't done" are known in recovery as "YETS."
Addiction and alcoholism always progress. They never regress. Have you ever found yourself dreading a weekend barbecue at the home of a friend who doesn't serve alcohol? You probably politely declined the invitation or you had a few in you before you got there. That's what I did. Do you find yourself getting a little uncomfortable around someone you know who doesn't drink? I bet you didn't have that same feeling eating a Big Mac next to a chubby guy! These are warning flags.
Have you ever had a few drinks before a party so you could sip only a few once you got there so people didn't notice how much you drank? Have you told your wife the "half story?" This is a term I coined because if my wife came home and smelled beer on me and asked me how many I had I would quickly reply 3 when it was really 6. If I was ripped I would say I didn't eat anything all day and probably should have eaten before I drank. For those of you who drink vodka thinking it is odorless, it is as odorless as skunk roadkill!
Believe me when I tell you that I have lost everything, gained it back and nearly lost it all again due to booze and drugs. It is just a matter of time. Addiction is patient. It will wait for years being happy that you're drunk when it really wants you dead! By the time you get to the bitter end of abuse you will probably wish you were dead. My addiction made me question my sanity, marriage, jobs, opportunities and running away from it all. No matter where I run to, I am there to greet myself and my addiction is adaptable to any climate, occupation, relationship or rationality.
Today my wife smiles at me instead of avoiding me. My kids talk to me about anything without fear of me going off. My employers get my best everyday. Today I can look at that guy in the mirror and be okay with him. I used to hate looking at that empty shell that stared back at me every morning. Today I have friends in recovery I can call when I need help with a problem. The dope man and the liquor man didn't show up at my father's funeral but 23 people in recovery did. All of the things you think you have missed or regret are there waiting for you in sobriety. Why don't you give it a shot, instead of drinking another one?
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