One of THOSE Days....

Every day I try to make people smile. I try to post an uplifting picture or quote to get people off to a positive start in the morning. My posts usually revolve around catching dreams, and not giving up. To be completely honest, there are days that I post encouraging words when I'm feeling discouraged.

When I think I'm going to have "one of those days," I DO! Today is a perfect example. I woke up with the world on a string. I was sitting on a rainbow. I posted a few quips, and sent out my "Happy Birthdays," as I sipped my coffee. I was scheduled for a commercial audition that I was looking forward to. I was waiting for the final proof to come back on Soul Parole. I was grateful to know I was going to work tonight. Things were just peachy. Then it happened!

I opened the door to the basement and saw it had flooded from the heavy rains that passed through last night. I knew I had electrical cords on the floor so I had to wait for the sump pump to catch up out of fear of becoming a Crispy Creme. I contemplated building an Ark but didn't know where to get 2 lemurs and 2 sloths! I had to cancel my audition.

As I checked my emails the proof did not come through for the book, and one of the venues that I had hoped to share my message with took a pass. The email I sent to the agency that booked me for the audition came back to my email. I had replied to my own message! It appeared as though I just blew it off. That's not the way I roll. I went from Mr. Sunshine, to Dr. Doom.

When I have days, like today, I always think God is testing me. If not it's the devil trying to kill my spirit. During these moments of uncertainty I have to intentionally stay positive. If I dwell in the negativity over my day I want to go for full blown destruction. I begin to question every facet of my life! Is my marriage good? Should I go to California? Maybe, Tibet! Do the kids like me? That bump on my face is not a zit. It's a tumor that's gonna kill me. Man, it becomes a three ring circus up in my melon!

I tried to put on my game face and called a couple of friends. I have been taught that if I get out of my head, and into helping someone else, I forget my problems in a jiffy. Every call I made was greeted with an answering machine recording. The volcano of self pity was about to blow like Peter Brady's did all over Marcia!

I needed fresh air. I love birds. Hawks are my favorite. I can't stand crows! As I sat looking out of my garage biting my lip, and questioning the heavens, a crow landed on my fence! He was staring right at me! Good Lord! What are you trying to tell me here?! As I feigned a panic attack, a fly the size of a humming bird flew in. I HATE FLIES IN MY HOUSE AND AT RESTAURANTS! It freaks me out.

I slammed the door shut after I got the flying pterodactyl out of my space, and sat down in a lawn chair to catch my breath. As I peered across the lawn to see the ugly crow, he was gone. At that instant a dove landed on the same spot the dark menace had just been. It began to coo. The sound of doves cooing takes me back to summers in Carlyle, Indiana when I was a kid. I would sit on the porch swing for hours in the tiny town just listening to their calls. I dialed another friend that picked up the call. I was coming down off the ledge.

My mind has such a hold on me sometimes, that I think it's the strongest organ in my body. It over takes my heart sometimes. I know it's doing it, but I let it get me anyway! I had to redirect my thinking to pleasant thoughts. I reflected on how lucky I was. My son came home with good news about a college he wants to attend. I looked at my dogs and thought about how happy they make me.

I have learned that life is not "mind over matter." It's mind over WHAT really matters!" I create my own days. No one MAKES us happy. We let them make us happy. Bad days happen. They can be just bad days. I don't have to react like I'm stuck in the steerage level of the Titanic. I just have to make it through the day. The sun will rise tomorrow. The basement will dry. The success of the book will be, or not be. I am alive and have all my needs met.

I can choose to look at the doves and smile, or focus on the crows and flies. It's all in my mind, and I can change that. If that doesn't work I can always go to bed and pray for a dry, crow and fly free day tomorrow. 

CONTAGION...and a VIRUS I PLAN TO CATCH THAT IS SHAMELESS!

The highly anticipated film CONTAGION hit the big screen this week. I am one of the many extras who had an opportunity to appear in this blockbuster film directed by Steven Soderbergh. As usual Soderbergh brings out the A list with Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Larry Fishburne, Kate Winslet and Bryan Cranston. When Mr. Soderbergh calls you pick up up the phone. His films are always exciting and action packed and most importantly money makers. The Oceans 11 trilogy is an example of his mastery of the camera and ease at bringing the best to the projects he directs. Whatever he creates brings people to the theater. His movies sell period.

Shot around the world Chicago was just a stop on the CONTAGION whirlwind filming tour. I was lucky enough to work on the film for 4 days. I worked one day with Larry Fishburne and "Breaking Bad" Bryan Cranston, 2 days with Kate Winslet and one day as a  foreign dignitary. I worked 3 of the 4 days with Steven Soderbergh. As a comic I have to point out that although he plays some intense characters Bryan Cranston could be a comic in a heartbeat. He is a riot! He was slinging one liners like newspapers on the day I shot a large group scene with him and Fishburne. Mr. Fishburne is intense and has a great smile.

As an extra you are generally just background. People don't notice you because they are focused on the stars. Occasionally you are bumped up to what is known as a featured extra. The pay is the same and you have no lines but you are given a role in the film. That is a specific character in a scene. I was lucky enough to be cast as Superintendent of Schools in a small scene that was shot in and in front of the armory here in Chicago with Kate Winslet. It was just Kate, Steven Soderbergh, the crew, a few supporting actors and my Chicago acting friends Steve Price, Ric Rumowski, Scott Bagowicz and 2 other gentleman.

The Armory was massive and I was struck by a few thing working on this particular day. The first was that Steven Soderbergh was on set everyday I had been on the film. He was involved in every scene that I had worked on. He was not the high and mighty Director. He was approachable and very gentle and attentive to all in his world. Extras like me were not treated like second hand citizens, which can be the case sometimes. Mr. Soderbergh was just a regular guy. It was really cool. I hope I don't end up on the editing floor.

Next came Kate. She has a natural beauty and aura that emmanates from her. She is the farthest thing from a diva as you can get. She ate with the crew. She talked with everyone and could hold her own with a room full of sailors when it came to her vocabulary but she also has the grace of a swan. It was awesome being in a scene with just the 9 of us. It was refreshing to see her be just a person. I have heard stories of extras being thrown off of sets for saying hello to an actor. That's right! I also heard a story from a Chicago extra who worked with an A list celebrity from Boston who was told not to even look at him between takes. Come on! Are you kidding me?!

I had the same great experience with Kate Winslet on Contagion as I did when I worked with William H. Macy on season 1 of "Shameless." He came into the extras holding area and asked us about our lives and families. He asked us if we wanted to take pics with him. When I was shooting a scene with him (I'm in the episode where the youngest daughter abducts the baby) he directed me on how to approach him as the  director walked away. I was cast as his neighbor. The fame or his job had not gotten to his head and soul. He is still just William Macy.

That is how I hope to be in my career as an actor, comic and author. Steven Soderbergh thanked me when we wrapped the that day of the Contagion shoot. ME an extra. That is right thinking and grateful living. William Macy and Kate Winslet hung out with the crowd and remembered where they started out. That is sharing with your compatriots and realizing your blood is red like mine.

We all are born, live and die. The movies are cool. Comedy is fun. Writing the book has been cathartic and hopefully will touch some hearts. The fact is we are all just flesh bones blood and soul. What you do on the outside may be interesting. It's what you do for each other that is vital. Teachers, Firemen, Cops and Soldiers are Stars in my book. I will make helping others a part of my life for whatever's left of it. If I ever reach a point in my career where I don't eat with the crew, or hang with the extras, or help a friend in need then I will have forgotten that GOD gave me all these wonderful blessings and understand when they all disappear...