Set the Date

This is a chapter that was omitted from the final draft. Funny how we all set dates.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Resolution.....Shmezolution......Evolution a Revolution...Us Not Me

Welcome to 2011! If some of the experts, and talking heads are right, and the Mayans quite ahead of their time, we only have 2 years until the "End of Days." Scary stuff. If you believe that, stop paying into your 401k now. Why not spend the money? Spend the kids college fund and join a commune. I wish the days of Woodstock and Haight/Ashbury were here again. There was a sense of "US" not "ME". "Well it's one, two, three what are we fighting for...." Country Joe was darn near Nostradamus with that little ditty.

As an addict dates are an essential part of using and recovery. New Year's Eve is a particular favorite. "I'm gonna kick tomorrow...," as Perry Ferrell, of Jane's Addiction, cries in "Jane Says." On TV there are weight loss and exercise commercials every other ad. There is even a piece of exercise equipment available now that reminds me of nights alone in my bedroom with an "Easy Rider" magazine as a Teen. It is a yearly, defined moment for changing your life. You can change your life any day you want, not just once a year at midnight.

When I was trying to kick booze I always had to have a date of significance set as my "gonna quit on" day. I'm gonna quit on my birthday. I'm gonna quit on the Anniversary of Lennon's Death..or maybe his Birth? I am gonna quit in one month from today. It was always tomorrows, never today's. Never forget addicts live in the pain of the past and insecurity of the future. I always had to have a ceremonial date to look forward to, so that date would be seered into my melon as an eternal reminder of the great change in my life. When I would reach my predetermined end date, I would just conjure up a new one farther down the road.

A predetermined date of making the changes in my life aren't on a calendar. Goals are good. Manageable, realistic goals are even better. My end date for using was when I couldn't take one more moment living with my pain anymore. The booze, and whatever, had lost it's magic touch. It was a relentless, merciless master and I heeded it's demands like a mindless zombie. I was truly going insane. My wife called me pathetic, and instead of making me angry, I agreed with her completely.

If you have set yourself up in a resolution plan starting today, be realistic. If you weigh 600 pounds and think you are going to lose 500 by summer you're in for a let down. Try eating better today. If you want to do more for charity, don't join the Peace Corp, look in the paper or Internet for something that interests you. I am an all or nothing kinda guy. If I can't be the Dalai Lama, screw it! I'm a failure. If I can't write like Hemingway I won't write at all! That's the easier way out of taking risks, so I have used excuses not to try at all.

I don't ask for God to remove my anger, or grant me patience because invariably I end up with the shits in a traffic jam, behind an elderly lady who should have stopped driving 10 years earlier. I ask that I be the best me, I can be today. I ask that I be a little better than I was yesterday. I pray that I hear God when he talks to me, and he grants me the strength to follow his wishes through. I try to do a positive thing for a human everyday, not for approval or for being seen doing good, I do it just because...and it makes me feel better.

If you are trying to make a drastic life change starting today, remember these words.  YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE! Find a support group. There is true for every kind of lifestyle change you wish to tackle. Don't worry about next summer. Just worry about today. If you slip up don't say F-It! Reach out to friends. It takes a long time to form crazy habits and a long time to undo them. Keep things simple. I over complicate everything. That gives me an excuse for quitting once I have overwhelmed myself with too many details to be a success. I have stayed sober for two years by asking for help and not drinking today, after today, after today.

New Year's is great. Trying to better yourself is wonderful. If you need help ask for it. None of us can handle our problems on our own. When we try to, we explode or implode. Thanks for your support in reading my blog. I have over 2050 reads in 18 days. That is a miracle. Sharing with you may help you, and I know it helps me. Find a God you're not afraid to talk to. Just start with hello and forget about the grasshoppers and plagues. Find a friend to share your successes with and someone you can call when you're feeling overwhelmed. The me, me, me approach will fail everytime. The we, we, we, approach is sure to be a smashing success. Remember a man who conquers a city is great. A man who conquers himself is FREE!

Ashes, Ashes They All Fall Down....Father Nature Ain't Playing!

I spent much of yesterday applying for jobs and working with people in recovery. I used to be a Centrist Democrat. I am now an Independent because I am hoping for a 3d, 4th and 5th party to arise and be brought into the political system we hold as being so democratic. The fact is that when our forefathers drew up the Constitution they wanted all men to have a chance to hold office based on their political agenda, not their pocket book. The reality is that 9 times out of 10 the guy with the most cash wins. Period.

Talking about politics is a wound that runs deep amongst a lot of us. I was a political junkie until I saw that with only two choices, you have to vote for "either" or "or." That is not much of a choice. I see good and bad in both parties. There will never be true compromise until other groups are represented similar to the Parliamentary system of the United kingdom and a few Western European nations. Some guy said "Money is the root of all evil". Another quipped that "power corrupts". For the life of me, I can't think of two better phrases that summarize our political system.

The fault I place on Americans is that most are apathetic or simply uninterested in really finding out what's going on in the political arena. Most folks watch a few talking heads that work for corporations who have agendas. Getting the news directly from both sides is not part of that agenda. Corporate strategy is profit. Capitalism is the basis of our nation's creation. Somewhere along the line the desire to use Capitalism shifted from benefiting the masses to benefiting the board of directors.

I am amazed that the Democratic party is called "Godless" while they propose things to help the environment and those less fortunate. I find these things to be exactly the things Jesus taught. However, I don't agree with a free ticket for people. This is a time when we should be creating job programs that help America as FDR did during the Great Depression. Our infrastructure is crumbling and it is only a matter a time before our roads, power grids, bridges and communities fall apart.

The Republican party thumps the Bible and touts themselves as "the family values party". I think they are referring to their own families. Less than 20% of the population controls most of the money in the world. Profit comes before morality. Fiscal responsibility is touted unless it comes to war. There has to be regulation on big business. Otherwise safety and the well being of the masses will be compromised at the mercy of the almighty dollar. I'm also confounded by the party as being so "God" oriented yet they call environmental deterioration and global warming nonsense.

The proof is in the pudding. The killings in Darfur have been basically ignored by the U.S. because there are no military or natural resource benefits there. Turning our backs on them doesn't seem very Christianly to me. During times of war the U.S. used to prosper because all the manufacturing and peripheral jobs that were created made our economy stronger. Now we outsource or contract to a few companies. Imagine the jobs that would be created if we actually went back to producing and manufacturing in this country.

We have propped up dictators and then removed them when they were no longer useful to us. We have turned our backs on nations who truly seek democracy because there is no military or financial gain to be had in these places. Let's face it, we want world democracy only if there is something in it for us. We have gone from propping up the middle class to catering to the elite few. We are destroying our world in the name of profits.

When I was a kid there were several hardware stores, department stores, pharmacies, banks and local family businesses that were the fiber of small towns. Now the big box stores and banks leave us with fewer and fewer choices. Every town in America looks like the next. Whether I am in Mokena or Indianapolis all of these places offer the same handful of choices. America is losing its identity to the gain of the mighty and rich.

The tsunami that hit Japan is horrifying. Don't forget the devastation in New Zealand a few weeks ago or the floods in Pakistan a few months ago. When was the last time you heard about Haiti? It seems to me that the world is getting ticked off at us. God gave us mastery and free choice in being the caretakers of our earth. Until we put the health of our nation and earth at the center of our thinking things will continue to deteriorate. The point of no return does exist.

This is a world problem and I do not think the blame is to be placed on one party or philosophy alone. We all share the same world. It's crying out to us that something is desperately wrong with how we are running things. I pray for Japan. I pray for us, right here in the U.S. that we stop fighting and start fixing. There are no do overs. My dad used to say "You don't crap where you eat." From what I see we are doing just that. Until the day comes when we stop thinking about the prosperity of our own families and begin to think of ourselves as a world family, the corruption and destruction of our planet will continue. Who cares who's kissing who! Let's fix up the house we live in and then we can worry about what the neighbors are doing.

It happened during the flood. It happened when the dinosaurs went extinct. It happened to great civilizations like Rome, the Mayans, the Inca, the Babylonians, Egyptians and many more great civilizations that ruled the world. I love America and I feel like that commercial from the 70's with the Native American's tear running down his face as he sees the destruction of our planet. If you think we are immune to the same same collapse of other great civilizations you are fooling yourself but you are not fooling Nature!